I was always fearful of what having a baby would do to our sex life. I have heard so many horror stories “he will be so turned off after seeing a baby come out of you,” “your vagina will never be the same,” etc. Well I am here to tell you that our sex life is now the best it has ever been.
In the past sex has always been just good for me. I enjoyed experiencing my husband that way, but to be honest I always wanted to choose sleep over sex. There were some physical things that my body under went early in marriage that really presented challenges for us in the sex department. It was never something that came easy, and was always accompanied with hurdles. Those hurdles led to it becoming more work than pleasure for me. I could talk for days about our sex life because there is A LOT of baggage there, but I’m not here to revisit that baggage. I am here to dump it, and move forward with the excitement of our new chapter.
We are experiencing each other in ways we never have before. Intimacy has never been our strong suit. We didn’t make love, we had sex. This changed the day(s) we had a baby. Him walking through the labor process with me created an intimacy that runs deep. For him to see me work through the process, and for him to work through it with me bonded us in a way I could never imagine. I did not go through labor alone. He worked just as hard as I did in those 36 hours. He also experienced pain, exhaustion, frustration, and all the other things I went through.
I always struggled with the vulnerability of sex, and letting him really see me, emotionally and physically. Seeing me deliver a baby is more real than any of those things. Once I knew he walked with me through that, the rest became trivial. He sees me now, and I see him. We share an intimacy that continues to develop each time we have sex.
On top of that intimacy, we also built a huge foundation of trust. The first time we had sex after the baby, was 8 weeks in. I was still hurting pretty bad, but the Dr said it would get better the more sex we had. I honestly felt I was trusting him with my life. The pain was really bad, and he was so cautious, but most of all, patient. It is almost 6 months post baby, and every time we have sex it still hurts me. He has never once tossed out that caution. He slowly works through it with me every time.
I don’t just enjoy the end game now, but I enjoy the process. I enjoy every moment with him. We are enjoying each other like we are just beginning to have sex. This is what most people’s honeymoon is like. Unfortunately, we never got to experience that, but I think it is sweeter now.