We are gearing up to try to have another baby. I am ready and SO not ready all at the same time. I know I want another child, and I know I would like them around 3-4 years apart so it is certainly time to jump on that wagon. I however, am dragging my feet.
I JUST found myself again. I mentioned before I am the best version of myself than I have been in a long time, and that is both emotionally and physically. I worked incredibly hard this year to get healthy, and I have thankfully lost 20 lbs. I JUST got my body back, and now I’m going to put a baby in it. My vanity is winning this one. I literally feel like I am mourning the loss of my body that isn’t even gone yet. I’m 33 now and if all goes as planned (which it never does) by the time I’m done being pregnant and nursing I will be 35 at least. 35 can be great, I know that. But it’s still 35, which is only older and means I’ll be saying goodbye to the young, hot version of myself I feel now. I am having to cope with the possibility of me never again looking the way I do right now.
So this is to me over the next couple of years:
The first year of a baby is the hardest. Here are a few things that can help you feel more connected to yourself instead of just feeling like a milk machine.
Wear makeup around the house. It will not only make you feel better about yourself, but it will also make your husband feel appreciated and prove to him you want to try for him.
Breastfeeding is hard, so much harder than you remember. It can be draining, complicating, and consuming but you are sustaining a life with your body, and that is worth it.
The first 6 weeks are the hardest. It does get easier.
Don’t get too comfortable because figuring out a new human is ever-changing. Remember everything is just a season, so if you don’t like where you are, stay encouraged because it WILL change soon.
Make time during the day for sex, because the minute that baby hits the bed so will you.
Accept any help that is offered. The more help you receive, the healthier you will be for your family, and the more you will have to invest in them.
Losing the weight and finding yourself again will feel like a mountain that is too high to climb. It can be a dark, overwhelming place, but you CAN do it. You have done it before and you have the strength and will power to do it again. Find people with the same goal and do it together.
Good riddance newfound 6 pack. It’s been fun.