I haven't been here for a very long time. It's mostly because I haven't even been able to process my own feelings and emotions over the last 9 months. I'm here now, and so is he. My little boy. It feels as though it took us forever to bring him into this world. The last [...]
I haven't been here in a while. In bed, forcing myself to turn on the movie Tangled, so I can fall asleep without crying. When this movie first came out in 2010 my sister and her family were here visiting from overseas for the summer. The first time I saw this movie I was able [...]
This post has been in the back of my mind for months now and I just haven't felt it was the right time to write it yet. Today, Mother's Day, finally felt appropriate. 9 months ago, I became pregnant. Jack and I had been talking kids for a while but just weren't ready to take [...]
I dream. A lot. Almost every night I close my eyes wondering what I will dream of that night. My dreams are almost always relative to what is taking place in my life. I may not always be able to immediately figure out the reason or "meaning" of them, but I can typically decipher them [...]
All throughout college I had an off and on relationship that was heading towards marriage. After 3 years, it ended abruptly, followed by a phone call by his mother, telling me he had been with someone else during our relationship. I began experiencing pain like I had never experienced, and I in no way knew [...]
I am home from my quick trip to NYC and I am not exaggerating when I say I feel like a completely different person. When I was there, H said to me, "This is the happiest I have seen you in a very long time." I am a happy person in general, but I used [...]
As I am sitting on the train, heading out of this city, thinking about every moment I experienced here over the last day and a half. The smile on my face is so untamable it’s embarrassing. This is a trip where I want to remember every moment. I have been dreaming of returning to this [...]
Ten years ago I took a trip to the beloved New York City. It was my high school senior trip, and it turned into was the beginning of a budding romance I would have with this city. It would inspire me to achieve more goals in life than any other place I have been. We [...]
There are still certain places I go, such as Fry's Electronics, that faithfully choke me every time. Dad was a computer guy. In fact, part of me believes that may be what caused the cancer. For 35 years he sat in his office, 12 hrs a day, completed surrounded by every electronic you could imagine. [...]
It seems to be getting easier. Each month brings fewer tears, fewer sleepless nights, but also fewer memories. I find it getting easier, but I wonder if it is supposed to naturally progress that way or is it because I am forcing myself avoid the thoughts. I am thinking about losing Dad less and less. [...]