It Will Forever Be Different

Four years ago on May 25 my life changed forever when I married my husband.  This year on that day my life forever changed again.  That day was full of so much joy, laughter and dreams.  This day was full of deep mourning and sorrow.

On May 25 of 2012 my Daddy was diagnosed with Lung Cancer.  In the next few days we found out it has spread to his liver, majority of his bones, and his brain.

It has been 39 days since I was told my Daddy was going to die.  The day we took him to the ER he was still walking, talking, and laughing.  It has been a little over a month and now he will not eat or drink, it bedridden, and can only mutter a few slurred words a day.  He is suffering ever day he is still with us.

I can’t even begin to put into words or digest the emotions flowing within me.  The one thing I am sure of is the grace of the Lord abounds within me, and every step I take has been driven by him.  Every day I have gotten out of bed renewed, and knowing I can face whatever is in my path that day.  The days have been getting longer and harder, but I am getting stronger.

In January of this year I had a conversation with my best friend about our parents “getting old.”  We knew the time would be soon that they would begin to have problems with their health but neither of us had any idea it would be so near.  2 months later her Dad went in for an emergency open heart procedure.  5 months later my told he has terminal cancer.  Our parents are both only in their early 60s.  I remember saying to her, ” I am not ready for them to get old, be sick, or most importantly to loss either of my parents. I would not be able to face that trial and make it out the other side.”

Today, I KNOW I will make it through.  Even in the darkest hours where the pain is paralyzing my soul, I WILL rise.

2017-08-11T16:03:58+00:00 July 2nd, 2012|Daddy, Death, family, God, goodbye, hurt, letting go, life changing, loss, Love, pain, Trials|

About the Author:

Writing has always allowed me to be able to communicate better what I am truly feeling not only with others but mainly with myself. It allows me to look inside my heart, figure things out, and help me be who I really want to be.