I LOVE traveling alone. I find myself when I’m alone. I get in my head space, where it’s so quiet that I can finally hear myself screaming. I feel, I process, and I heal. This past weekend I was able to head to the beach…for 1 day. No noise, no social media, no responsibility, just me…and the ocean.
The beach is my ULTIMATE happy place.
1 day was NOT enough. I felt, I processed, but I got in too deep to begin healing in such short of a time. It is rare for me to allow myself to feel as deeply as I should, but that one night, I felt it all.
The ocean brought it out in me. I sat for hours with my toes in the sand, under the full moonlight, watching the waves crash. Closing my eyes, feeling the night air on my face and imagining what every crash would feel like against my body…if I let it.
IF. I. LET. IT…the story of my life.
Had I taken the risk to let those waves crash against me that night, I would have felt ALIVE. With every sense heightened, I would’ve felt the warm water surround me, and for a moment, I would’ve never wanted to turn back.
I chose to not go in. I CHOSE to sit on the safety of the sand and embrace the water…from a distance.
From a distance is always safer…but it always keeps you dreaming. Fantasizing about what it would’ve felt like to swim in the ocean that night. In this case, I’m thankful I didn’t take that night swim. BUT…I need to begin taking steps towards that water, and feeling every moment along the way. If I learn to embrace every moment I’m given, with all of myself, then I won’t be left dreaming.
I’ll be left satisfied, by the taste of the ocean.